I'll never forget the first time I saw him--the wild shock of black hair, the beautiful blue eyes, the full lips with that perfected pout. Such a diva, even from the beginning. I was entranced, smitten, mesmerized. He had the face of an angel, and the voice of one, too--and almost from the start I began the pattern of losing Nicholas. I was good at that--I guess I never believed I really deserved him, what he would bring to us both. What we would experience, because of him. What we could be, because of him. What I could be because of the strength and belief he had in me.

Denial denial denial.

Damn, I was good at that. But I was going to have to get good at trust and acceptance, if I wanted to keep him. If, that is, if I could find him again. It was almost as if he'd never been.

But he had existed. I'd heard him, felt him, experienced him. I had his words in my heart to prove it. It would, I knew, just be a matter of time before I found him again, and then I would never, ever let him go.

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Carolyn Gray lives in North Texas, where she makes her home with her two teenagers and two Springer spaniels. She divides her time between work in the train industry, seeing movies with friends, traveling around the US and her favorite country, Germany, and creating suspenseful stories about everyday people caught up in more-than-ordinary lives.

You can reach Carolyn at carolyn@carolyngray.net